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_92.webp "A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”")
_talking-with-psychopaths-and-savages-beyond-evil-by-christopher-berry-dee-124124-book-review.webp "The Green Man Book Seller")
⏲ 5 minutes 31 seconds 👁 482
_how-psychopaths-think-and-behave-part-1124-full-documentary.webp "SLICE Full Doc")
_bees-are-so-smart-it39s-just-frightening.webp "Bees might just be the brainiacs of the insect world! These little buzzers are out there pulling off some seriously smart moves that'll make you do a double take. I'm talking about recognizing faces, using tools, making group decisions, and even doing a funky dance to chat with their buddies. It's like they've got their own secret society going on! And get this – they're not just buzzing around aimlessly. Nope, they're busy pollinating our crops and keeping our planet ticking. #brightside <br/><br/>Animation is created by Bright Side. <br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Music from TheSoul Sound: https://thesoul-sound.com/ <br/><br/>Listen to Bright Side on: <br/>Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/0hUkPxD34jRLrMrJux4VxV<br/>Apple Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/idhttps-podcasts-apple-com-podcast-bright-side/id1554898078<br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>Our Social Media:<br/>Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/brightside/<br/>Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/brightside.official/<br/>Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@brightside.official?lang=en<br/>Snapchat - https://www.snapchat.com/p/c6a1e38a-bff1-4a40-9731-2c8234ccb19f/1866144599336960<br/><br/>Stock materials (photos, footages and other):<br/> https://www.depositphotos.com <br/>https://www.shutterstock.com <br/>https://www.eastnews.ru <br/>----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br/>For more videos and articles visit: http://www.brightside.me")
_talking-with-psychopaths-and-savages-124-book-summary-124-bestbooks.webp "@colourful world")
_the-wisdom-of-psychopaths-audiobook.webp "Make it easy")
_britains-got-talent-star-tom-ball-and-living-with-diabetes.webp "West Sussex-based Britain’s Got Talent star Tom Ball, with a debut album coming out and his music career taking off phenomenally, says he feels a responsibility to talk publicly about a happy and successful life lived despite years of diabetes.")
_5-dark-signs-someone-is-secretly-a-sociopath.webp "Charisma on Command")
_the-psychopath-124-house-m-d.webp "House M.D.")
_gull-mouth-action-podcast-episode-26-124-crawley-town-march-into-the-play-offs-brighton-prepare-for-villa.webp "Matt Pole is I'm joined by Brighton & Hove Albion writer Derren Howard, Crawley Town expert Mark Dunford, and Sam Morton, who covers both the Seagulls and the Reds.<br/>Brighton’s winless run continued as they were beaten 3-0 at Bournemouth on Sunday.<br/>We’ll pick over the bones of Albion’s latest defeat, and bring you some excellent news from Crawley Town.<br/>You can read all the stories we are talking about with videos and pictures online at SussexWorld.co.uk/sport, and you check out other great videos on ShotsTV.com and Freeview channel 276")
⏲ 23:11 👁 23.7M
_lindell39s-unhinged-maga-rally-speech-trump39s-conspiracy-theory-about-campus-protests-a-closer-look.webp "Late Night with Seth Meyers")
Lindell's Unhinged MAGA Rally Speech; Trump's Conspiracy Theory About Campus Protests: A Closer Look
⏲ 12 minutes 21 seconds 👁 472.5K
_devin-haney-reacts-to-ryan-garcias-positive-drug-test-this-guy-showed-his-character-124-sportscenter.webp "ESPN")
Devin Haney reacts to Ryan Garcia’s positive drug test: This guy showed his character | SportsCenter
⏲ 4 minutes 9 seconds 👁 135.7K
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